from the heartbreaker to the heartbroken

There are a lot of shitty things this world has to offer, but the worst two ones?
One’s being the heartbreaker and one’s being the heartbroken.

And i know it hurts on your end. i saw it in your eyes. i saw it when you cry, when you woke up at night and texted me you scream my name in the darkness, when you whispered to your friends about all of the things i couldnt change, but i wish you could see how this is tearing me to shreds too.
How i stayed up wondering why i’ll never be good enough for the only person who made me feel something. why i messed up too badly for this to ever work again.
And i want you to know that, this side hurts too, i promise.
Because you’ll love again. i have no doubt about that. you will love again and it will be more beautiful than anything you’ve ever experienced, because one day you will find someone with the capability to love you back. and they will be lucky. they will be so goddamn lucky because when you love, you love hard, and you will love them. you will love them so much, you won’t be able to breathe, but they will finally resuscitate you when you are feeling these things instead of plunging you under water, and it will be so beautiful and so worth this heartbreak, my heart won’t be able to take it.
Because i’ll never be able to love like you do. because someday you’ll completely move on and i’ll always have to live with this.
And if it makes you less sad, i’ll say im sorry, because i am.
But the saddest thing about this is that you’ll be okay in the end.
And i know, i will not.